10. Sex and Sausage Rolls

Just for the curious, and because I found it highly amusing writing about them, here is the story behind the sex and the sausage rolls from my original novel Sex & Rucks and Sausage Rolls.

Unfortunately both key chapters fell victim to the axe when the slaying was in full swing. I had to be brutal and some of the ‘broad comedy’ that Richard Blandford talked about was in the firing line. Remember, this is what Richard said about the “flow” of my book…


Still, I don’t see why I should deprive my fans of a couple of chapters I consider to be comic genius. In fact, I may well print two copies of Sex & Rucks and Sausage Rolls as part of my NaNoWriMo prize (Createspace offer to produce two of your books free of charge). I’ll keep one for myself and offer a second up as a prize for one of my avid readers perhaps.

Anyway,  back to the sex and the sausage rolls.

Both chapters heavily involve Jonah Harrison, who is thought of as something of a genius by the editor.

Jonah, like many on local newspapers, began his eventful career at the bottom, as a messenger boy I seem to recall, but because he became part of the furniture and knew the area well he earned a string of promotions until he rose to the heady heights of Marketing Manager.

I’ve come across such people before. When you ask them to think up something special to help your newspaper capitalise on a big event, they fall back on tried and trusted methods.

What they don’t seem to realise is what has worked for the weekly Bugle in an area where everyone is out of work and starving and will seize on the chance of free pastries isn’t necessarily going to produce similar results on a bigger paper attempting to compete with the nationals.

Here’s Jason in full flow at the first board meeting Micky Biggs attends after joining the Sunday Tribune Despatch…

… closely followed by the introduction of the inflatable sheep. And that’s as much as I’m going to tell about Sex & Rucks and Sausage Rolls right now. There’s a new novel on the scene and it’s called Crossing The Whitewash.crossingthewhitewash-final (1)

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